" he said. "I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard."I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.My next crap could spell disaster.Went ...ut last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring and farting ... so, at least I got home OK.The wife's back on the warpath again.She was up for making a home video last night and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens. She collapsed into a jelly like state on the table and I finished off the massage. She climbed off the table and gathered herself together and got dressed. We didn't mention what had just happened. "Do you ever get to have a massage?" she asked."No, unfortunately I don't, that is one of the downsides of being a therapist," I replied. "Well now you do, get up on the table."I took off my shirt and climbed up on the table. My erection was then at full mast. For an amateur she was doing a good job. More

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