.. "No. They're all at the funeral."--A Cape Bretoner walked into a crowded local bar, waving his Colt 45 with an 8 shot clip and yelled,"Who in here ...as been screwing my wife?"A Newfie from the back of the bar yelled back,"You're gonna need more ammo!"WHILE ON A ROAD TRIP, AN ELDERLY COUPLE, STOPPED AT A PIZZA HUT FOR LUNCH.AFTER FINISHING THEIR MEAL, THEY LEFT THE RESTAURANT, AND RESUMED THEIR TRIP TO PHOENIX.WHEN LEAVING, THE ELDERLY WOMAN UNKNOWINGLY LEFT HER GLASSES ON THE TABLE, AND SHE. Wow. I can't believe she found another one like Beany. And I can't believe she bought it for me." This is the letter that came with it," my mom said, handing over an envelope. "It came Monday while you were at that basketball game with Suzi. Tim... How safe is that thing? It doesn't even have a glass bubble or anything." Huh?" I said while ripping the envelope open. "But that's the beauty of it, mom... Nothing between you everything else. The only thing cooler than this would be one of those. More

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